It's like riding a bike

Taught my 4 year old son how to ride a bike without training wheels. It was a snap using a method suggested by good friend Buzz.

Step 1: Remove Training Wheels

Step 2: Remove Pedals

Step 3: Lower seat

Step 4: Find flat surface with no traffic like a tennis court (while no one is playing tennis)

Step 5: Have kid do the Flinstone action with his feet to start moving, then lift up his feet to begin finding his balance. The kid can't really fall, because his feet are right next to the ground and the pedals aren't in the way.

Step 6: After doing Step 5 for two days, at the end of the second day, put the pedals on.

Step 7: That ought to do it!

Please don't call it the 4th

Okay it's a pet peeve of mine, but it's founded in a deep love for my country. Please don't call the celebration of our nation's Independence "The Fourth of July." Nobody says, "Happy October 31st" or "Merry December 25th." So why does everyone say, "Happy 4th" instead of "Happy Independence Day?" Doing this over and over starts to water down its meaning. Hello? We're celebrating something big here folks! Please do not take our freedom for granted. Not today, not ever.

Unfortunately for many Americans, 4th of July means swimming pools, hot dogs, and fireworks. Or they remember it as the day those sick dudes stuff down 137 wieners, along with the 137 water soaked hot dog buns. But it's not supposed to be a freak show. Independence Day is the greatest All-American holiday, second only to Thanksgiving ... or should I just call it "The 4th Thursday in November?"

And now that the world's gone twitter-happy, the situation is only going to get worse because no one wants to eat into their 140 characters. Why tweet about "Independence Day" when "7/4" will do? No, I say we must put and end to this now.

There's an old, silly joke that asks, "Do they have July 4th in England?" And of course, the answer is yes they do, it comes right after July 3. They just don't call it "Independence Day." Well, now you know exactly why we should.

Move over Google

There's a much smarter way to search in the works. Actually it's already here and it's called WolframAlpha. Type something in and instead of giving you a long list of related websites a la Google, it gives you actual answers. Using contextual algorithms instead of general keyword and link-based algorithms, it doesn't just point you in the right direction, it can tell you what you want to know.

I'm not sure Wolfram will ever become a verb, but I do believe this more fascinating and relevant type of search will start eating some of Google's lunch.

How do you top "dick in a box"?

Just like this...

Fire vs. Fire Extinguisher

Sometimes a small fire can be less damaging than a fire extinguisher. Sure, this may a wonderful analogy, but you should also take it very, very, literally. That's because some fire extinguishers, like the one I just used to douse a fiery toaster oven, for example, can leave clouds of powder, which settle into mounds of powder, that are really hard to clean up. Spray one in your kitchen for 10 seconds, and you'll spend the rest of the day cleaning up your kitchen from top to bottom, washing every dish, every appliance, and scrubbing the floors and counters, more than once. Trust me, don't do it unless it's absolutely necessary.

There are two paths you can go now

So I'm in the hospital. Not me as a patient, I took my wife in for a little outpatient procedure. We've got to get to the cardiology dept. and we're following the signs in the corridors. Now every time we see the cardiology sign pointing in the direction we should turn, there's another sign pointing the same way that says McDonalds. Makes perfect sense to me.

The Big Bagel

I was in New York City recently for a few days and man, it was good to be back in the greatest city in the country. I was born in the Bronx, grew up in NJ, and then lived on the upper west side when I had my first job on Madison Avenue back in the 90's. And once you live there for awhile, you always have a part of the city in you. So speaking as a New Yorker, not a tourist, I'd like to know why a world-class city, has such a silly nickname. The Big Apple? Huh? I think it's high-time we re-nickname it to "The Big Bagel." I mean, really, who ever goes to NYC for apples?

The Bigger They Are, They Less They're There

Not to sound like Andy Rooney, but...did you ever notice in the corporate world, there's an inverse correlation between the size of a person's office and the amount of time they actually spend there. For days on end, the CEO's massive office, complete with couches, fancy chairs, coffee tables, designer lighting, wide-screen plasma TV and everything else, remains untouched like a museum exhibit. Meanwhile, the fluorescent lights hanging over the cubicles three floors below, burn all night long. Here's where you find folks working their tails off 'round the clock, fueled by strong coffee, fast food, salty snacks, and super-caffeinated sugar drinks.

That's not to say CEO's are lazy. Often they work harder than anybody. But they also tend to travel the most, attending meetings and conferences all over the world. And their business lunches are longer...places that take reservations, tend to be places where the suits take their time, only picking up the check after the deal's been closed.

The men and women in those big posh offices also get the most vacation time too. And their late night and weekend work usually takes place from the comfort of a sweet home office set-up at their main residence, or one of their vacation homes.

This principle also applies on the home front. Those estate houses, way up on the hill? Likely, and older, wealthy couple lives there. Of course, they also own an apartment in the city, as well as vacation home in the mountains and a condo at the beach. Their kids are grown and out of "the house," and now they travel the world every chance they get.

Meanwhile, across town there's a small, two family house...with five families living there. No one has ever taken a vacation and there's 17 kids and counting...

The MVP of Super Bowl XLIII

Sure the Steelers & Cardinals played their hearts out, but they had a full 60 minutes to do it. Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band, plus the Miami Horns, and a full choir, had only 12 minutes to let it all out. So who played the best?

Well, let's just say the Boss showed us exactly why he is. He played four songs and subtly shortened them without ever crossing into cornball-best-of-medley territory. He started with 10th Avenue Freeze, giving newcomers a quick history lesson on the formation of the E St. Band, followed by Born to Run, one of Rock 'N Roll's greatest anthems. Next he gave the world at large a taste of his latest work, with the title cut from Working on a Dream–with a little help from the choir. Glory Days ended the half time show of the country's biggest party in high style, with a sports-themed, party romp. For a guy who became famous playing 3 to 4 hour concerts, Bruce showed he can also prove it all night, in 12 minutes flat.

Welcome Back

What took you so long? Was it something I said?