For those who don't compute

So it didn't change the world at the very moment Mr. Jobs held it up for all to see. And it probably won't for the mac-savvy crowd who can easily sustain themselves on iPhones, iPods, & iMacs, and coffee & bread. Because these machines do everything we ask and many things we didn't ever ask for, but really, really like.

But what about everyone else? There are millions of people with computers who don't do any computing. They read the news and whatever floats their boat, watch videos, facebook with their friends, email, share photos and things of that nature–but they don't create presentations, spreadsheets, graphic design...no, nothing of the sort. (And no, using the calculator on your computer doesn't count...nice try, though.) So why pay for that unused processing power? And why lug around anything bigger or heavier than you have to?

My biggest beef about the new iPad (besides the no flash issue, and I don't even want to talk about that right now) is that it doesn't really fit in your pocket. So I'll probably wait for the one with the same screen size, that folds up nicely into a wallet size. All right, as long as we're doing that, and it's got your credit card info in there, let's make it an iWallet.

It's like riding a bike

Taught my 4 year old son how to ride a bike without training wheels. It was a snap using a method suggested by good friend Buzz.

Step 1: Remove Training Wheels

Step 2: Remove Pedals

Step 3: Lower seat

Step 4: Find flat surface with no traffic like a tennis court (while no one is playing tennis)

Step 5: Have kid do the Flinstone action with his feet to start moving, then lift up his feet to begin finding his balance. The kid can't really fall, because his feet are right next to the ground and the pedals aren't in the way.

Step 6: After doing Step 5 for two days, at the end of the second day, put the pedals on.

Step 7: That ought to do it!

Please don't call it the 4th

Okay it's a pet peeve of mine, but it's founded in a deep love for my country. Please don't call the celebration of our nation's Independence "The Fourth of July." Nobody says, "Happy October 31st" or "Merry December 25th." So why does everyone say, "Happy 4th" instead of "Happy Independence Day?" Doing this over and over starts to water down its meaning. Hello? We're celebrating something big here folks! Please do not take our freedom for granted. Not today, not ever.

Unfortunately for many Americans, 4th of July means swimming pools, hot dogs, and fireworks. Or they remember it as the day those sick dudes stuff down 137 wieners, along with the 137 water soaked hot dog buns. But it's not supposed to be a freak show. Independence Day is the greatest All-American holiday, second only to Thanksgiving ... or should I just call it "The 4th Thursday in November?"

And now that the world's gone twitter-happy, the situation is only going to get worse because no one wants to eat into their 140 characters. Why tweet about "Independence Day" when "7/4" will do? No, I say we must put and end to this now.

There's an old, silly joke that asks, "Do they have July 4th in England?" And of course, the answer is yes they do, it comes right after July 3. They just don't call it "Independence Day." Well, now you know exactly why we should.

Move over Google

There's a much smarter way to search in the works. Actually it's already here and it's called WolframAlpha. Type something in and instead of giving you a long list of related websites a la Google, it gives you actual answers. Using contextual algorithms instead of general keyword and link-based algorithms, it doesn't just point you in the right direction, it can tell you what you want to know.

I'm not sure Wolfram will ever become a verb, but I do believe this more fascinating and relevant type of search will start eating some of Google's lunch.

How do you top "dick in a box"?

Just like this...

Fire vs. Fire Extinguisher

Sometimes a small fire can be less damaging than a fire extinguisher. Sure, this may a wonderful analogy, but you should also take it very, very, literally. That's because some fire extinguishers, like the one I just used to douse a fiery toaster oven, for example, can leave clouds of powder, which settle into mounds of powder, that are really hard to clean up. Spray one in your kitchen for 10 seconds, and you'll spend the rest of the day cleaning up your kitchen from top to bottom, washing every dish, every appliance, and scrubbing the floors and counters, more than once. Trust me, don't do it unless it's absolutely necessary.

There are two paths you can go now

So I'm in the hospital. Not me as a patient, I took my wife in for a little outpatient procedure. We've got to get to the cardiology dept. and we're following the signs in the corridors. Now every time we see the cardiology sign pointing in the direction we should turn, there's another sign pointing the same way that says McDonalds. Makes perfect sense to me.

The Big Bagel

I was in New York City recently for a few days and man, it was good to be back in the greatest city in the country. I was born in the Bronx, grew up in NJ, and then lived on the upper west side when I had my first job on Madison Avenue back in the 90's. And once you live there for awhile, you always have a part of the city in you. So speaking as a New Yorker, not a tourist, I'd like to know why a world-class city, has such a silly nickname. The Big Apple? Huh? I think it's high-time we re-nickname it to "The Big Bagel." I mean, really, who ever goes to NYC for apples?